So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize