Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
