I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
