He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
