I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
