I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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