My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
