There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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