She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
