well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
