I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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