Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize