Banned from zoo.
Again?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
