i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
