So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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