i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize