Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
