I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
