Small penises have feelings too.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
