woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
