why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
