scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
