there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
