i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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