But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
