I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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