DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
