dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
