I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
