i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
