put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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