So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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