Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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