ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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