Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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