If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
