it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
