So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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