Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
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Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize