Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
