He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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