My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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