Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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