So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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