Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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