Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
