I cut my penus on the lid.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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