Can Purell be used as lube?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
