Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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