He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I did not marry a roomba.
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