I feel great
I just peed on a car
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
