So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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