i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
