I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she looked like the before picture.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
