Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
