K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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