Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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