I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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