I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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