You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
